Murray Mexted and Me: The Untold Story

So I’m in this Roast of Murray Mexted tonight, on Comedy Central. Had very little idea what to expect. First thought was: “Why me?” (Often my first thought. Maybe I’ve seen too many Jason Bourne movies, but most invites feel like an ambush. Who’s punking me now?) Certainly didn’t think I was there for my depth of rugby knowledge. I gave a speech, based on a superficial inkling of innuendo and gossip, sprinkled with a touch of court-ordered name suppression -- and afterwards, I was able to relax and have a good time. Everyone was very funny, and importantly for New Zealand, not so rude as to never be able to bump into each other again. The next day, however, different story. All I could think was: Ohhhh! That’s what I should have said! And all that day, I did nothing but taunt myself with awesome things I should have said. Zingers bloomed where previously there had been desert. Why didn’t you fire that ace down! By the end of that day, only one day too late, I had the perfect Murray Mexted Roast speech. Sadly, I’ll never get a chance to use it. The French call this feeling, l’esprit de l’escalier. I’m sure that straight away, they came up with a better name for it. Enjoy the show tonight. Here's a link to the trailer for the Roast.