This Is Why Pets Don't Rapture to Heaven

Stumbled across this. (Wasn't searching for lion-tiger intercourse.) A faithful, patient dog is breastfeeding the offspring of a male lion and a female tiger. (Both actual parents, felines, have absconded.) Wrong on so many levels. First, lions and tigers? As the Bible says, "That ain't right." Noah's Ark isn't some swingers' key party. I saw The Lion King, and this kind of thing didn't go on. Secondly, if you do get all jungle slut with some totally wasted tiger, or vice versa, lion up. Both of you. Hang around. Pay the maintenance. Look after your weird mutated babies. Don't expect some third species to step in and do what you oughta. Feed them some zebra nuggets. Third, at some point, these cubs are gonna get a little bit bigger, and eat 'mommy'. In a word: ungrateful children.

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