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Ewen and I came up together. Pretty sure we did our first festival the same year, in the same pub. We were up for the Billy T the same year, the first year, when he and Cal won it. He was a cheerful, generous spirit with a glint in his eye and a voice hoarse from making an effort. An outgoing raconteur who clearly liked people. You don’t become a marriage celebrant if you don’t like people. He was comfortable in his own skin, always smiling, always leading with a joke or a jibe. I see him in the Billy…

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Well, it’s been a long time coming but here we are. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m delighted to announce the Tenth Anniversary Edition of my book, An Asian at my Table. To state the highly probable, it’s been ten years since this book came out as a sheaf of paper and glue. It was a wad, it was a ream. Now it’s an e-book on Amazon Kindle. This version sports an all new cover, a new intro, and every word of text has been meticulously vajazzled, or rather, dejazzled. Ten years can be a long time for jokes, so I’ve gone…

Read More An Asian at my Table: 10th Anniversary Edition OUT NOW ON KINDLE

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New Zealand, Sovereign Nation Raybon wonders how military NZ is as a country. You’ve wondered it too, don’t pretend you haven’t.

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Hi there. Thrilled to be heading to the South Island next week for some stand-up shows. Finally. It’s been a long time coming. The gigs have been organised courtesy of Crackup Comedy, and bookings are available via Dash Tickets. Comedy gigs are much better with an audience, so shift that South Island butt and get along! I’m having to travel much further than you! Looking forward to hearing those authentic mainland laugh-utterances, alongside the occasional dismissive shift of bodyweight in the seats. Yes, I notice. Raybs

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After what, 1200 days of psychological torture, Bradley Manning, the exposer of war crimes, said this today in court: “How on earth could I, a junior analyst, possibly believe I could change the world for the better over the decisions of those with the proper authority?” If you spit when you reach the words ‘proper authority’ the sentiment comes out just right. I can imagine Martin Luther King bellowing ‘proper authority,’ like an ominous drumbeat, the trampling percussion of invasion. Bradley Manning’s quote should be the opening of one of the great inspirational speeches of our time. Indeed, of any…

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Etiquette has shifted seismically since the quake that was Aaron Gilmore. We all know the story: a waiter refused to serve more wine, so the sozzled MP threatened to have the waiter fired (by the Prime Minister himself, using laws which probably would have been passed under urgency, before dessert, to achieve the goal). Is massive douche-baggery a sacking offence? Some would say Gilmore was acting out precisely the job description of an entitled Tory Lord. Maybe before they get chosen, MP candidates should be put under surveillance during service-industry encounters (most likely the reason the GCSB is now allowed…

Read More How To Behave With Waiters, Since That Incident

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