Baby Raybon’s Xmas™ Manger Mug
There’s something about Mary. And there’s something about this mug.
The iconic poster for Raybon’s live show ‘Clear and Present Manger’, has transubstantiated into this sturdy handled chalice, offering sanctuary to all beverages hot and cold. Whether your calling is coffee, tea, or holy water for a quick baptism, this mug will withstand all the healing elixirs you pour into it. Mazel tov!
Are there coded messages inside this painting? Is the baby a miracle, an imposter, or a victim of human trafficking? Is Mary so hammered from Xmas drinks she doesn’t notice who’s on her lap?
The perfect Christmas™ present, this Finite Edition® mug has been moulded from genuine stone chippings and manger-scrapings quarried in Royal Bethlehem,* then lovingly hand-baked by a higher power.**
Verily, this is not so much a coffee mug as a healing talisman*** in the spirit of Christmas.****
This mug paints 1000 words, two of which are: Merry Christmas.
* Untrue
** A factory in New Plymouth, technically north.
*** Utter fiction.
**** Baseless fantasy.
The Raybon Kan™ Official Mug of Non-Racism®
Racism – what’s it good for? Well, obviously it’s very good for entrenching injustice, but apart from that, in this day and age, racism is one of the most evil of evils. Nobody wants to be accused of racism. Even racists. Especially racists. (Indeed, the only people who own up to even a passing dash of racism, are those least guilty of it.) But what to do when you’re worried that somebody might suspect you of racism, but there isn’t anybody foreigny-looking nearby, whom you can quickly embrace for a photo?
Have I got the solution for you: my Official Mug of Non-Racism®. Like an Official Certificate, but more practical with coffee, and more natural for you to hold at all times. If you’re casually, morally, decently sipping a beverage from this equal-opportunity receptacle, you’ll be so Officially Non-Racist, it’ll be like you’re posing for a Benetton commercial on board the Starship Enterprise.
(Note: Official Mug of Non-Racism® Only Available In White.)
‘Ruby Wold Cop’© Coffee Mug
The IRB have probably left NZ by now, but there remain certain everyday words we’re not allowed to use, for fear they create the mistaken impression of commercial connection to the you-know-what. So how to remember all those fond memories?
In the interests of free speech, Raybon Kan © PassiveWear © proudly presents a souvenir which will help retrieve fond memories of this event — not in an obvious vulgar way where the name and logo get blurted straight out — but instead, in a cryptic, Da Vinci Code way, as you would memorise something for an exam, or perhaps as you would aid the memory of an aging relative in the early stages of dementia.
We are also hoping people will buy this by accident when they’re drunk.
All purchases will be made through Paypal Secure Service. Alternatively, purchase on Trade Me.
‘Global Oval-Ball Trophy’ Coffee Mug
Ah. National pride. They won. I mean, we won. Our heroic national players, dressed in their Entirely Dark™ outfits, proudly triumphed over all other countries (including the country to the left of Germany) at Oval-Ball®; Sports Game. Good on ya, mate.™
This carefully-worded mug will help remind you of all the highlights — legally — involving Oval-Ball®; Sports Game, This Calendar Year®, Among Various Sovereign Nations™, without infringing on any images, concepts or metaphysical fancies protected by The Law™.
All purchases will be made through Paypal Secure Service. Alternatively, by credit card or internet banking at www.raybonkan.com or Trade Me.
Ruby Wold Cop – Two Months Later Commemorative Set!
Why have one mug, when you can buy more than one? With this special offer, for only twice the price – but the same cost of shipping – you receive BOTH mugs. Don’t put yourself through the agony of Sophie’s Choice. Choose BOTH.
Remember: the more you pay, the more mugs you get!!!
All purchases will be made through Paypal Secure Service. Alternatively, visit raybonkan.com on Trade Me.
